I have to defend my ex here for a moment. I need to express his feelings on the matter because it's important for readers to know his side as well. I know this will be "his side" from my mouth but I am a fair person and have enough respect for him to be honest and truthful, not bending his side to my advantage, I will tell it how it is... or at least how he has lead me to believe it is.
J is a good guy at heart. He doesn't want to hurt people. He hates drama, in fact he hates any kind of negative feeling... as we all do, but he more than others. He tends to ride on the highs and run from the lows. He just doesn't handle lows well at all, to any degree. I even told him that he goes do that and he agreed. Well without divulging too much information about his life I have to just jump to the point... why he broke up with me. See, J, has never been much of a commitment guy. He like the idea of being loved and cared for put it's hard for him to express those feelings back while also having to consider other people feelings, albeit positive or negative. He doesn't do well sometimes with dealing with that kind of stuff, simply because he just doesn't have the experience doing so. He lacks a lot of interpersonal skills simply because of his experiences with friends, ex's, and life. You can't blame the guy for that. Like I said he has a good heart and good intentions but he doesn't tend to think much beyond his own wants and needs while at the same time considering others want and needs in relation to how his will consequently affect them. It takes a long time for some people to learn how to form that method of thinking, I know I did. So overall J tends to make some major decisions without truly thinking about the consequences or the importance of them in his life. He jumped into a relationship with me without getting to know me first, and I too made that mistake as well. After all we went through he then based his decision to re-date me out of pure emotion and not thought out logic. He felt alone and sad, like he as lost. He didn't want to lose that feeling I gave him, the feeling of comfort and love. I can't blame him for that.
Well he tried... he gave another effort but that's all it was, an effort. He didn't commit to it, he just tried to. He did what he "thought" he should do or rather what I wanted him to do rather than totally 100% be himself which is what I wanted. He got unnecessarily burnt out on his attempt to hold up his end and ended up hating the fact that he was in a relationship. He started to feel tied down and closed off. He grew distant. His mind started to wander and he began to have feelings of the past where he was interested in moving from guy to guy because it was exciting and not so "real." His reason for breaking up with me was very valid and honest. If he didn't think he wanted a relationship and think that he could keep it going without growing more and more distant than why put me through that? I completely agree with that fact. I believe he needs to go be alone and grow up, straighten out his thoughts, feelings and such so that he can be more comfortable with life right now and hopefully figure out what is right for him. It just sucks royally that I get fucked over again because of his tentative feelings.
So there is my defense of Mr. J... He has a good heart, a bit confused and immature, but has enough maturity to make tough decisions and admit to himself when he has made a bad choice, and for that I commend him greatly.
J is a good guy at heart. He doesn't want to hurt people. He hates drama, in fact he hates any kind of negative feeling... as we all do, but he more than others. He tends to ride on the highs and run from the lows. He just doesn't handle lows well at all, to any degree. I even told him that he goes do that and he agreed. Well without divulging too much information about his life I have to just jump to the point... why he broke up with me. See, J, has never been much of a commitment guy. He like the idea of being loved and cared for put it's hard for him to express those feelings back while also having to consider other people feelings, albeit positive or negative. He doesn't do well sometimes with dealing with that kind of stuff, simply because he just doesn't have the experience doing so. He lacks a lot of interpersonal skills simply because of his experiences with friends, ex's, and life. You can't blame the guy for that. Like I said he has a good heart and good intentions but he doesn't tend to think much beyond his own wants and needs while at the same time considering others want and needs in relation to how his will consequently affect them. It takes a long time for some people to learn how to form that method of thinking, I know I did. So overall J tends to make some major decisions without truly thinking about the consequences or the importance of them in his life. He jumped into a relationship with me without getting to know me first, and I too made that mistake as well. After all we went through he then based his decision to re-date me out of pure emotion and not thought out logic. He felt alone and sad, like he as lost. He didn't want to lose that feeling I gave him, the feeling of comfort and love. I can't blame him for that.
Well he tried... he gave another effort but that's all it was, an effort. He didn't commit to it, he just tried to. He did what he "thought" he should do or rather what I wanted him to do rather than totally 100% be himself which is what I wanted. He got unnecessarily burnt out on his attempt to hold up his end and ended up hating the fact that he was in a relationship. He started to feel tied down and closed off. He grew distant. His mind started to wander and he began to have feelings of the past where he was interested in moving from guy to guy because it was exciting and not so "real." His reason for breaking up with me was very valid and honest. If he didn't think he wanted a relationship and think that he could keep it going without growing more and more distant than why put me through that? I completely agree with that fact. I believe he needs to go be alone and grow up, straighten out his thoughts, feelings and such so that he can be more comfortable with life right now and hopefully figure out what is right for him. It just sucks royally that I get fucked over again because of his tentative feelings.
So there is my defense of Mr. J... He has a good heart, a bit confused and immature, but has enough maturity to make tough decisions and admit to himself when he has made a bad choice, and for that I commend him greatly.
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