I was just putting all of J's birthday presents in his bag, just so they would be in one place. I realized I could throw in there his mousse that he bought for my apartment so when he came over to spend the night he would have some here. I put it in the bag and paused for a moment, I then picked it up and opened it and sniffed the scent... it smelled just like him. My whole body felt him at that moment and I suddenly felt his hugs, his kisses, I saw his face, his smile, his eyes, I heard his voice... a million things like that flashed through me. At that very moment I was tentative about putting it back in the bag, I thought to myself "I could keep this, smell it from time to time..." then I stopped that train of thought and said to myself "what the fuck are you doing, put it in the god damn bag." I'd be lying if I didn't admit that I went into my bathroom and got an old vitamin bottle, washed it out and sprayed some mousse in there just so that I could still smell it... lol. God, I hate this. I miss him so much. I just wanna wake up from this nightmare. I want him to miss me as much as I miss him. Oh god, here I go again. I feel so empty again. Dammit why do I have to miss him so much! I hate emotions... I wish I could just turn them off. Bleh, I have to compose myself now and get back to doing my homework for class tonight. More thoughts later...
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment