I Finally Saw Him...

Today was J's Birthday. After class today I called him and drove to his house to drop off his present. When I came into his house he was moving stuff into one of the back bedrooms... I asked what he was doing and his new friend Kurt who he just started becoming closer friends with MOVED IN! This is a huge and unexpected move, but I honestly think it's a great thing for him. I told him he needed to get closer with his friends, and him and Kurt have been hanging out a lot so I think that this will be great. He won't sit at home alone and bored, he'll have a friend close by. I dunno... I think this is a great move for him. But with all great things comes a some bad to. Here is my prediction... now that he is living with a friend he will have no more need to have me around in his life at all and he will barely communicate with me and when he does it will be brief and one sided. Anyway... seeing him was a little rough and a little interesting as well. I walked in and was acting very confident and peppy. There was still this awkward tension in the air but we both managed to cut it. He opened his presents and was thankful and such. We talked for a little bit... or rather I talked to him, asked him questions about normal stuff... he really didn't have much to ask me about, self-fish uncaring bastard, lol. It sucked because all he was wearing was his gym shorts and he looked so good, but I definitely did not feel the urge to be like "lets date again!" I wanted a hug and if I am being honest I could have done with having one last kiss, but that wouldn't be a good idea. I didn't stay very long. He had shit to do and so did I. He initiated the goodbye hug and he squeezed me really hard and lifted me up and then I lifted him up. Then I kinda screwed up a little bit and before I walked to the door I gave him another big hug and held on for a tad too long, I noticed this mainly because of how he got out of it, a tiny tiny bit forceful. Lol.

Do I miss him? Sure, I always will. Will I get better? Of course. Slowly but surely I will get to where I need to be. I just hope we can be friends. I am leaving that up to him because I already put the offer on the table so he's going to have to take the next step.